The Five Life Roles of a Teen Mother(TM)
Once the seven basic characteristics are recognized, defining who teen mothers are becomes a little easier. However, we still have not completely defined this complicated people group. To better equip teen mothers to become independent, functioning members of society, we need to understand the five life roles every teen mother plays on a daily basis, as mentioned in characteristic number seven. When we look at all the life roles teen mothers play during the course of a day, we realize how complicated life must be for them.
Have you ever stopped to think about how many different roles you play? You could be a wife, a mother, a student and an employee, all different roles played by one person. In the same way, teen mothers play different roles. The difference between a teen mother and yourself is that you approach these roles all from the same age perspective. A teen mother must play many different roles with nearly every role requiring her to be at a different maturity level. Teen mothers are not the average in any role they play. They are not what we would consider typical teenagers or typical mothers. They are not ordinary high school students or average employees. Relating to teen mothers may pose the biggest challenge to assisting them. It is important that we approach the "teen" in the teen mothers. Approach them on their level and at their pace. A good practice for us is to remember ourselves at their age. Teen mothers are feeling and experiencing the same things many of us did but at a more intense level.
The term "teen mothers" explains who it is we serve: teenagers who just happen to be mothers, not mothers who just happen to be teenagers. Do we focus our attention on them being teenagers or mothers? Do we concentrate on them finishing high school or focus on assisting them in getting gainful employment? In order for any ministry to teen mothers to be successful, each part of who they are as people needs to be addressed.
While each role is different and often requires a different maturity level, the life roles are all connected, and the core of a teen mother's being is a seeker.
- Teenager: Teen mothers think and act like teenagers. Just like any other teenager, they can be self-centered and may find it difficult to plan for the future. The teenager inside the teen mother is still concerned with boy/girl relationships and struggles with understanding her parents. Dealing with the teenager role must be a priority for those serving this population. If this part is not dealt with, she may revert back to teenage behaviors later in life, often to the detriment of her now older child.
- Mother: Our society views motherhood as something special. We believe mothers should provide security and stability for their children. In order for this to happen, a mother must be patient and mature enough to give up her wants and desires for her child. Ordinarily a teen mother has not developed these characteristics yet. This life role is often the one most Christians want to focus on. However, while it is an important role, it is only one role out of five. If the mother role is the only role addressed, our ministry to teen mothers will be unbalanced.
- Student: Teen mothers, primarily due to their age, are often still in high school. If this life role is not addressed, we are missing out on a large portion of what is happening in her life. She will need to finish at least her high school education if she is to be prepared for the best possible future for herself and her child. Finishing high school is the first step towards independence.
- Employee: Addressing the employee in the teen mother may be difficult for many people. Some believe it would be best if the young mothers did not work and, instead, spent the majority of their time with their children. While this would be the ideal situation, the fact remains that teen mothers must work in order to financially provide for their children.
- Seeker: Teen mothers are desperately searching to find out who they are and why they exist on this spinning planet. Teen mothers may not even realize that they play this particular life role every day.
However, take one look at the need every teen mother has to feel loved and you will understand that this is one of her five major life roles. As we serve her, we have the opportunity to help her come to know who the God who has created her to be, and what plan He has for her life. The most important part of God's plan for each teen mother is His plan of salvation through His Son – Jesus. As you can see, a teen mother plays many life roles in the course of a day. Therefore, in order for us to effectively assist teen mothers to become independent, functioning members of society, we must address all of her five major life roles.